


Alike(Jookyun)

by Rainy_Summer17



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad English, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fraternization, Gay, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hate to Love, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, Insecure Im Changkyun | I.M, Insecurity, Kissing, Light Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, No Smut, Pre-Relationship, Sad Lee Jooheon, Self-Esteem Issues, Soft Im Changkyun | I.M, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Summer17/pseuds/Rainy_Summer17
Summary: Jooheon realizes, during no mercy, that I.M and him aren't as different as he thought.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon
Kudos: 55





	1. Killing me

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> English isn't my native language and I don't really remember what happened in no mercy in details so there might be mistakes.
> 
> Come hit me up on insta!  
> @xsweet_n_youngx

Jooheon didn't want to look at him.

He really didn't want to. That kid had no right to be there, to come crash everything they built together. It was unfair, and Jooheon promised himself he would never even dare to look at said boy. They all trained so long, fought to be accepted by everyone for the last 8 episodes, made their way with their blood, sweat and tears, all together. Minkyun just left, and now another guy came treathen them when he didn't even live half of what they've lived? It was completly unfair, and the rapper couldn't believe what was happening. He felt the kid sit next to him eventually, but he didn't give up. He kept fixing the table, until they were all alone with him. Jooheon shared a look with Shownu, who looked as destroyed as him. Yet they knew there was nothing to be done. The show wasn't called "no mercy" for nothing. The only look Jooheon gave to I.M was late at night, when he walked infront of the boy's bed. It had been two hours since Seokwon left him too and told him some things. The young man was still sitting on the bed, not daring to move or speak up. Yet, his eyes met Jooheon's, and the tallest swore he could see sadness in them.

Whatever, he wasn't of them. 

He crossed his way back to the bed.


	2. Can't you see me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title by txt]

The followings day were a bit better. Although they did not speak to Changkyun, they forgot their different while being in the little studio with their team. The beat was good, and they had abilities(even that I.M kid), there were no reason to be scared. When they got told they should start the writing of their parts together, Jooheon decided to let fall this childish act. He looked at his teammate take place next to him. He still barely dared to speak or look at his now roomates. Jooheon sighed, and started talking, delivering his thoughts with the guy he now had to work with. He may still held that grudge, but he couldn't let it get in the way of the victory; they had to collaborate. And when he saw tears steam down the younger's face, he wanted to wipe them, felt a weird sense of empathy wash over him. A bit of guilt too. But his emotions couldn't get in the way either, they had to get to work. Even despite that little voice inside him telling him that Changkyun was maybe way more like him than he could think.


	3. Holo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title by Lee hi]

Nothing but loneliness. 

Don't get him wrong, Changkyun knew the path he chose wouldn't be the easiest, especially when he learned he would be joining no mercy. He had been alone a lot those last two years, alone to believe in his dreams and try to sucess. He also knew that his new teammates wouldn't be happy of his late arrival in the survival show; he was well aware of all that. Nothing, tho, could have prepared him to the coldness and loneliness he felt when he first met all of them. Most of the guys looked at him with anger, disbelief or confusion, and some wouldn't even dare look at him! It would get better, he hoped as he sat next to one of the rapper. He knew his name was Jooheon, and his performances were impressive. Said boy didn't spare him a glance until late a night. Changkyun could understand his anger, all their anger, their refusal to be friend with him; if he had been in the same situation, he probably would've acted the same. That still didn't change the fact he felt incredibly lonely, for some reasons. He felt the coldness in their eyes spare into his soul, make him shiver with fear. When he was alone with them, it got worse(which he didn't think could happen). Waiting 10 minutes in the hallways of the house, not knowing where to go and if he could join them was not pleasurable, even less when they finally invited him-Only to leave one by one. It left him there, on the bed, not knowing what to do and feeling incredibly lonely. Steps could be heard walking toward his set of bed, and he idly wondered if it was one of them coming to hit him. He doubted; Seokwon assured him that they didn't want his death, but just couldn't accept him-Not now at least. He still couldn't discard the fear coursing through him; especially when he saw who was coming. Jooheon, the one guy who didn't dare look at him. He was staring at him, his piercing eyes seemingly digging his soul. 

Changkyun wasn't welcomed here, and he knew it. But it still hurted.

The contact which lasted 10 seconds seemed to have lasted minutes. The oldest rapper turned his heels without another look, going back to his bed like nothing happened.


	4. Sweet chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title by Day6]

Changkyun still remembered the cold looks he got when he stepped in the studio with the rest of the team, ready to debut his first mission. He almost wanted to scream sorry, he was in fact feeling guilty but he had a dream too, and he couldn't let that luck slide. Everything went seemingly well after this, the other guys not minding him anymore as the producers talked to them. It was like he had always been there, and that made him feel a bit less lonely for a while. Yet, it ended quickly when he got asked to rap infront of everyone. Changkyun did it without hesitating, he was confident about his raping skills without a doubt. And when his teammates clapped, he wondered if it was just pity, but didn't ask. 

Fear creaped in him once again when the announcement was made. He had to work with Jooheon, alone, in a room. He already felt the coldness of it all, he was scared he'd go out of it frozen at the end of the day. Sitting next to him was incredibly awkward, and Changkyun fixed the ground, which was weirdly interesting at this moment. He didn't feel at ease, at the right place. Maybe he shouldn't have agreed to do the survival, he doubted he really had a place with them all. Especially if it meant maybe debuting with them in the end. He couldn't give up now, however. He was in for a long ride. The taller's voice filled the room suddenly, and I.M had an internal heart attack.

At the end of it, he was glad Jooheon opened his heart to him so they could work better. For sure, he still didn't feel accepted, but it was a tiny step. They told it themselves; they'd accept him with the time. Just had to know how long would it take.


	5. Be alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title by Ariana Grande]

Jooheon had to admit, he was only scared of losing everything he fought for. He couldn't let that happens, he had to debut and I.M was a very threathening obstacle to it. The fear and doubt he had in him turned into anger, and the sadness he had of loosing one dear friend into a stupid grudge. He had always worked hard to do his best, to be the best version of himself; and despite all the compliments he received, he had still that cripling doubt taking over him. Never satisfied enough but acting cocky and confident infront of cameras was his way to go. He couldn't change it, it was just in him, he was never truly satisfied.

Jooheon kept playing the distance card like it would stop Changkyun from taking his spotlight one day. Like it would change anything at all, despite them growing a bit closer for the work. And at one point, everything just...Became natural. Changkyun just drowned himself in their daily life, despite the distance. The most important thing was to prepare the numero, there was no time for anger or fights. 

The night when, after hours of preparation, they finally performed the song...Jooheon met I.M's eyes. They just finished the stage. A smile was blooming on his lips, and so was it on Changkyun's. They exchanged a long look, and at that moment, Jooheon just saw a vulnerable, full of dreams little boy just like him. Someone who fought his way to that instant, only to live it fully. 

One tear or two fell on Changkyun's cheeks, and this time, Jooheon dried them.


	6. I think I've had enough, I might get a little drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title: FourFiveSeconds-Rihanna]

Everything hurted, but in a good way. Jooheon could feel his muscles scream in pain from intense training, yet the performance of the night kept him high on adrenaline. All the guys decided to go out to drink, but he decided against it; he'd prefer looking at a movie while drinking a bottle or two of soju. The young man thought he was alone, yet he was mistaken. Standing in the doorway was a tired, a bit shy I.M. They shared a long look, Jooheon thinking about what to do. They just won, and a little part of him wanted to be angry that Yoohno got eliminated, but he couldn't bring himself to, too tired. Instead, he looked at his teammate.

-Hey, stop standing here so dumbly and come drink with me.

Changkyun couldn't refuse. He felt guilty of winning against Yoonho, who trained so hard, but at the same time he was happy the hard work of his team paid off. He was surprised of the proposition, however he wouldn't miss the oportunity. He trained as hard as everyone, especially to be accepted, so he deserved a little rest. He sat next to his hyung, and they soon started drinking, chatting a bit. The alcool in their veins made them talk more and more, until they were talking like they knew each other all their life.

-Come here Kyunnie, said the tallest as he designed the space between his open legs. The maknae obeyed, and immediatly felt a pair of arms being wraped around his waist. In his drunken state, all he could think of was that he liked that nickname. Jooheon's face dropped in the crook of his neck.

-You smell good Kyunnie...

Said boy smiled. And soon, the two men fell asleep in that position, like nothing else mattered.


	7. It looks like you might be one of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title:Heatens-21 pilots]

Jooheon and Changkyun couldn't be that lucky, they realized the next morning when a smiling Minhyuk woke them up. His eyebrows wiggling and his almost creepy smile made them realize that they'd get teased for life. Both of them got up, flustered, acting like nothing happened. They had a free day today; hell on earth at the moment since they knew they'd get teased even more. Of course, the filming crew was there, but Gunhee, Minhyuk and kihyun weren't scared to lean on and whisper some antics in their ears to make them even more flustered.

Jooheon had a good memory, hence remembered everything that happened the night before. He was ahamed by the way he acted, yet he had a really good time with the maknae and said boy let him do, let him hug him. It felt weird, because Jooheon created that kinda though persona(except for the little pen he wrote with but come on! Weren't they so cute with their big fluffy ball??), the intimidating rapper that gave some hugs sometimes but nothing more. It felt weird to hug someone so intimately again, but good at the same time. It's not like it would happen again anyways.

Changkyun, on his side, was really flustered he let Jooheon hug him like that, but happy at the same time. He felt like he was starting to be one of them, be a bit more accepeted, and it made him happier than anything else. He secretly wished his hyungs would all open up to him even more, accept him fully, but one step at the time. The little jokes the three guys were telling him and Jooheon made him very flustered, but also gave him too that feeling of being accepted, at his place. He couldn't keep the smile out of his face.


	8. The show must go on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title: Heroine-Sunmi]

The big night of the finale. They were all extremely scared, nervous yet a bit happy. The last weeks had been full on adventure for them, and they were relieved and incredibly stressed at the same time. That night, the one that would determine their future; they all worked so hard. As they were in line, Jooheon stared at his teammates. He lived so much with all of them, and they became close during this journey. It was breaking his heart that two of them would be gone...

One of them maybe being himself.

He looked around a bit more, until his eyes met Changkyun's. The boy worked hard, so hard that Jooheon couldn't even bring himself to hold any grudge anymore. The war had been merciless, and he suffered too; they were all on the same boat. 

Changkyun was beyond nervous, but at the same time...Disapointed. He knew he wouldn't debut, he was sure of it, those places weren't his. He looked at his rapper teammate, and their eyes locked. He felt giddy when he looked at him, so much happened and he felt a sort of connection to his oldest. Jooheon felt the same.

As the time passed, everything seemed to froze. And when the earth started to move again, Changkyun was in the chosen line, next to Kihyun, Hyungwon, Hoseok, Hyunwoo, Minhyuk and...Jooheon. He couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe he was about to debut, alongside all of them...They all started crying, relieved, hurt, happy...So many mixed feelings. Minutes later, Changkyun was sobbing against Jooheon's chest, who told him to work hard and pat his head softly. This time, again, he wiped his tears. And I.M did too, seeing the ones falling on his friend's beautiful face.


	9. Cause I'm your home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Title:Home-Seventeen]

-I can't believe we're going to debut, said Changkyun backstage, letting himself fall on the ground. Jooheon was next to him, as amazed, smiling bright. His muscles hurted, his body was screaming in pain, but it was the most delicious pain. His efforts had been worth it, finally. They smiled at each other, still under the shock, and both started laughing out loud, freely.

-You know, I.M, I'm glad I can debut with you, said the oldest with a smile.

I.M smiled. He was really, really happy to hear that.

-Me too hyung...

They looked at each other, like time stopped. And when their mouth leaned in a kiss, everything felt just right. His hands on Jooheon's tigh, Jooheon's hands on his waist, he felt accepted. He felt like...Like he found a new home.

-DAMMNIT GUYS, NOT IN THE BACKSTAGE! OR AS A LEADER, I'M KICKING YOU BOTH OUT OF THE GROUP!  
It was Hyunwoo's exhausted voice.

-Kinda sad, being a member for like 5 minutes, added Kihyun with a laugh.

Jooheon would kill them. He really wanted to. But at the moment, Changkyun thought that the seemingly angry expression on his face was more cute than anything, like a little angry cat.

Everything was meant to be, and he was at his place. 

That day, Jooheon and Changkyun both found a new home.


End file.
